entitlement

this is a recurrent theme, as I imagine it will be for the rest of ever, but it came up yesterday in two very different forms, and the outcome of the second incident is still not sitting well with me.

1. while waiting in the lobby for my phone to be repaired, a man asked me about my tattoos. I looked up and while many possible answers ran through my head regarding creepy old men and their predilections for women half their age, he added "if you don't mind"...I immediately said "I do mind, actually, but thank you for giving me the opportunity to answer politely." And he looked a little confused and left me alone.

2. while out to dinner with the fam last night, a gal who wasn't *our* waitress came up to the table to interrupt my meal. She opened with "you know, I really hate to bother you" (while reaching for her collar, so I knew where this was headed); so I cut her off with "then maybe you shouldn't"...she looked shocked and wandered off to point at our table and complain loudly to another group of restaurant employees and my boyfriend criticized my "rudeness"...

obviously, she opened with a lie. which pisses me off. if she had "hated to bother" me so badly, it means she knew it was a bother, and didn't hate it at all or she wouldn't've done it.

people assume that if they phrase their request as a question, they are entitled to an answer. I hate that. if you ask a yes/no question, you need to be prepared for the answer to be "no." People get shocked when I don't want to talk to them about my tattoos, and the *vast* majority of them don't offer the opportunity to answer politely. and it really hurt that instead of defending me and my right to enjoy a meal uninterrupted, the boyfriend criticized me. as if I owed that girl time and energy. I don't owe anyone an answer, let alone a polite well-thought-out response, and I didn't swear at her or roll my eyes or fling food or anything terribly rude. I called her on her bullshit. being interrupted by a stranger *was* a bother, and I merely said that if she hated it so much, maybe she shouldn't do it.

tis the season, as it warms up, for me to wear t-shirts and tanks and shorts, and I really am tired of people thinking I owe them some sort of explanation for my tattoos. If they open with "wow, those are really nice," I usually respond with thanks, and then try to egress. if they ask where I got them done, I'm happy to advertise my one and only tattoo shop (Stingray, Wells Ave, Reno, NV 775-348-8383) and tell them I'd get work done by any professional there (I don't know the new apprentice :) )...and then try to egress. but when they want "the story" or they want to know what it means or why I got it, really, it's none of their fucking business and I wish people would get it through their heads that sometimes the answer to a question isn't the one they hoped for. I don't mind disappointed as a response to my non-share, but I want to slap people who are indignant, as if their time is worth more than mine and I owe them anything.